Thanks Ali

I'm really excited. I was just browsing around on the 'net' and checked out Ali Edwards' blog. She has this great display of a 'type drawer' with heaps and heaps of photos in it plus other bits of embellishments. I was just impressed with the whole thing.
So, following her prompts I googled 'type drawer' and instantly found one. It's just like hers and was selling on Ebay. It even comes with some history. It was made in 1890 and came to Australia from England.
I can't wait to make it into a great feature of photos etc.

So, Ali has been really inspiring me lately. Got my albums and pages organised and now I plan to 'copy' her idea with the type drawer.
Thanks Ali!!

What I've been up to this past week

I have been spending quite a bit of time with my grandchildren. Both Sara and Andrea moved houses. So since Thursday school pick up time till school drop-off time on Friday I have had Monty. And then Andrea's three children from late Friday untill Sunday afternoon and then again, Sahn all day Monday.
Phew!!! I am tired but.....I loved the fact that I could do it. I have a photo of Sahn in the shopping trolley...she is just not excited about the camera coming out these days. Orson finally found a toy to play with at his new home......everything else is in boxes!! And Blake was having a 'ball' (literally) in a bigger backyard. The backyard needs a lot of attention but we'll all get to that in a family working bee.

Colin and I went to The Temple last week as well. The first time I've been back there since having been diagnosed. It was so peaceful and beautiful and I always feel like I am 'coming home' whenever my eyes see this beautiful building.

Made some yummy bread rolls. In fact the bread maker is hard at work as I write this so I can make some more. Nothing like homemade!!!!!!!!

I finally took Riley to kinder and got some photos of him. He is growing so fast. He absolutely loves having a 'day with Nanna'. He asks to come over constantly.

And I have done a bit of creating. A card for Martins' birthday (he's gonna be 30!!!!!!!). And four more pages of may cancer journal. I am finally up to starting the chemotherapy treatment. I think I've done 18 pages already. It's so interesting re-reading my experiences then. I feel like I have woken up from a bad dream....and yet in my own words the whole experience is there.

Driving Monty to school this week he asked me two questions. "Are salt and vinegar potato chips a family tradition?" I had to laugh...I can't stand them but everyone else seems to like them.....so my answer was, "why not?" Anything can become a family tradition, right?

The next question was, "what is the oppositie of tomboy?" I thought the answer was a 'girly girl'....but no. He meant if a boy likes to do girls things. I couldn't think of any 'nice' terms for this one at all. So, we decided it wasn't good to label anyone at any time. Phew!! I mean I couldn't say some of the things that came to mind to a 7yr old.

Today I am going to do some more on my cancer journal. I'm kind of eager to get it finished so I can scrapbook some photos.
And, with that intent I had better get away from my keyboard!!!

Loved Freezing Saturday

It's been a busy week!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a great day on Friday. A crop at my house!!! It was the best fun and so nice to be with others who love scrapbooking like I do. Some of my friends want me to start running classes for them from my house. Not sure about that! At least not yet!
I did get 2 single and 1 double layouts of Harrison done. Which means his grand total of completed layouts has now doubled. I am to keep doing some more of him....he is such fun scrapbooking material. Being nearly 2yrs old and getting in to everything....it's just the best!!!
I got a newsletter from the Scrapboxx last week and only just looked at it. Their design team is amazing. Loving the layouts......great for me to copy. I use up more ink on my printer printing off layouts than I do photos. Who needs magazines???
Wednesday I am going with a few friends to Paper2....introducing them to a bricks and mortar store. I am sure they will spend plenty!!!

I loved the freezing cold weather we had last saturday. Real 'overcoat' weather. I have been hanging out for this type of weather....hot chocolate, home made cinnamon rolls...happy family, a bit of scrapbooking, a good book. Love it all!!!
Saturday night we had tickets for a performance from the BYU Ambassadors at Kingston Centre in Moorabbin. This is a group of 70 young singers, dancers and musicians from BY University in Utah, USA. Their performance was fantastic!!! They sang and danced music from the 50's to the 90's. I hate to admit but I really related to the 60's music. Saturday, in the park......la la la la la...!
On Sunday a lot of the performers were at our Church meetings because they were billeted with member families. A small group of them went to the home of our dear sweet young friend Taliane who is dying from cancer. She is now blind....and is pretty much out of it most of the day. These young Ambassadors went there to sing to her and after they had been there I spoke with a couple of the girls and they were in tears at the amazing experience this had been for them. They are the same age as Taliane (22) and could so identify with this young mother of two small children, loosing her battle with cancer.
I heard later from Taliane's husband, Jon, that Taliane was just mesmerized. She didn't know they were coming until a couple of hours beforehand and it was an especially strong spiritual experience for them all.
Last night went to a Fireside(meeting) from our Church Relief Society......there were about 200 there and the speakers were so inspiring.
I am enjoying being able to go to these events again. It's been a long time. And...like everyone else....I love to be nourished spiritually as well as emotionally etc.

Today, I finally went and did the Drug Allergy Test at the Royal Melbourne Hospital. It was really fascinating how it's all done, and then watching for reactions etc. The culprit is what my aneasthetist thought it would be....one of the muscle relaxants!!! I may have to go back to have further testing of drugs withing the same family....to have a complete picture of the whole deal.
Funnily my mobile rang when I was only home a short while and it was Rod Taylor the aneasthetist....to ask if I had done the test yet. So I was able to tell him the little I knew.

So, in a space of two weeks I've heard from both the surgeon and the aneasthetist who were part of my whole anaphylactic episode.

Time moves on and it was good to be able to tell both of them that I am now in remission....and am hoping to stay that way with the help of the 'wonder drug' mabthera.

Another busy week coming up. Both daughters are moving houses and I am booked for some heavy babysitting duties!!!!!!!!

Enough is Enough

It seems like I'm right back into the 'everything is medical' phase again. Two weeks ago I had the shell of the abscess removed from my neck (the one that caused the serious infection earlier this year). Last week I had to go and have the wound checked...and tomorrow the stitches will be removed. So that's one thing over and done with.
Then it was for a blood test to see if my blood is still doing good.
Last thursday I had the first of my once every eight weeks treatments....mabthera it's called. Back into the day oncology at Brighton Cabrini. It seemed like I hadn't had the 8 weeks break at all. It's a funny feeling really. I am in remission but to keep me there I have to have this treatment so I really do remain a cancer patient for another two years.
Now I feel lethargic and a bit nauseous but nothing like what it was on chemo. And....hopefully in a few days I will feel better again.
It's like have chronic fatigue constantly. No matter how much sleep you get, you just don't feel that bright and alert.
Today I have been for a hip xray. My Oncologists thinks I may have arthritis in my left hip! How does he know....well it hurt really badly when I was sick with the infection earlier this year and as soon as I was back on chemo the pain went away. Chemo is a great drug for arthritis pain!!! So now I have to have that investigated.
It's all downhill once you're over 50......maintenance constantly!!!

Next week I have my drug allergy test at the Royal Melbourne Hospital which is going to be interesting. In fact the surgeon who had to abort the operation got in touch with me the other day via a friend of mine and then rang me as well. He said some really special and nice things and he still has a very strong memory of the all the events of my anaphylaxis cardiac arrest and never wants me to return to him for surgery.......then he said 'only joking'! But, he is a cancer surgeon so I really don't want to return to see him. A christmas card once a year is enough.

Had a wonderful Mothers Day. Grandson Riley(4yrs) wanted to come and cook me a mothers day breakfast because they had just finished a yummy one at home and he wanted me to have some too. How sweet and gorgeous.
We all met at Andrea's home.......everyone made a special contribution towards a yummy dinner and dessert.
The grandchildren were all in fine form and played really good with eachother...for a change.
I got some lovely, sweet presents. Shoes, lots of 'stuff' from dusk (love that place) and a gorgeous long knitted jacket in dark purple. I feel totally spoiled.

Havn't done any creating. Well that's not true. I did help DIL, Tambi last week. She is making an album for our son, her husband for his 30th. So she came over and I helped her put some pages together. Thank goodness for the cuttlebug and the cricut. I made yummy home made pizza for lunch. The bread maker makes the best pizza dough and it's so easy.

I've ordered some more scrapbooking 'stuff'. Some from the US and some from Aus. There was a I love Elsie paper that she first brought out which I really loved and once site actually still had some so I ordered a few sheets. And from the US I can't really remember what I ordered except that Ali Edwards latest book (been out about a year) was very cheap so I know I am getting that.

Have to buy some more Printblocks D Ring albums as some of my grandchildrens' albums are overflowing. Will have to go to Paper2 for them I think they are the closest store that sells them.

Number 11

I've known for a couple of weeks but wasn't allowed to spill a word........however....now I am allowed.

So, here is the spill. I am going to be a grandma again!!! Number 11...proudly sponsored by eldest son Daniel and DIL Carolina. Their fourth child.....and after having 3 boys already guess what they are hoping for??????

So exciting....I'd better get some of the recent photos of their youngest, Harrison scrapbooked.....I just can't keep up.

Exciting news though....whoopee!!

This is a card I made for Carolina's 30th birthday.

I really love the colour combination, pretty happy with this design

Then of course, I had to make a 2nd one because that's my 'thing' to do with every card

that I make

Some of my 25 albums that I now have...organised chronologically or individual for my

10 grandchildren. I hung tags on each of the d-ring binders to identify who or what is in the album.

Part of getting myself organised. Mostly everything is back in albums.

I did take pictures of the piles of layouts that I had, but I can't find them now. Maybe I accidently deleted them from my camera because they are nowhere to be found on my computer.

Oh well, I am not going to pull everything out again.

I just ordered some of the lovely birds chipboard that collections have put out. So gorgeous. I have also been drawing some birds of my own and also a butterfly or two.

I wish that cuttlebug were bringing out a bird die. Not tiny birds but medium size ones.

I also ordered some of the strong clear transparency that hambly have put out....got to get into the transparency book thing and have a play with it.

I showed it to Colin and he said they use that occasionally at work, and he will check out in the factory store room to see if there is any laying about.

He also had the guys at work make me some clear acrylic stamp blocks. I got quite a few smallish ones but several of each size. Because that way if I am using a couple of stamps regularly on a project I can keep them all sitting on the blocks ready to use.

Saved me a few $'s

Now that my big project of organising is done, I can get back to working on my cancer journal. I still have so much to do on that.

Friday I met daughter Sara at Southland and we went to see Maid Of Honour. It was a fantastic movie and we had lots of laughs. Had lunch at TGI Friday and had more laughs together. I love spending time with my girl!!!!!!!

Tonight we are going to Hobsons Restuarant in Sandringham to celebrate Carolina's 30th birthday. Love that place!!!

And...tomorrow is a family BBQ at Braeside Park so we can meet Andrea's Matt. He is from Brisbane and has come down twice now to meet her. She has been up there once and is going again later this month. Sounds like they are pretty serious...and in all likely hood she will move up to Brisbane. (can't cope with that thought right now!!!)

It's such a beautiful day today that I'm going to do something creative!!!!

Moving Right Along

Last time I wrote that I had taken up Ali Edwards' challenge to organise my scrapbooks. Well, I am nearly there!
It's been quite a job. Kind of fun seeing all my older work and wondering if I should maybe redo them....but it's more fun to leave them and just appreciate having learned more over the years.
Each of my grandchildren now have their own album. In fact some of the older ones are now on to their second albums.
Poor Harrison....the youngest grandchild only has 4 layouts done of him. Now that's really not good!!!!
I have chucked out some of my first actual albums which were looking pretty awful and thrown away a lot of page protectors.
Hence I am waiting for an internet order from Blue Bazaar for another 100+ page protectors.
I decided to count the layouts as I put them in to their new homes and I have done around 1,000 pages. Then there are the OTP things as well for gifts or to keep.
That's pretty amazing really. Imagine if each page costs around $10 on average....that's over $10,000. that's saying nothing about the stuff in my scrapbook room and the costs of albums and page protectors. Wow!!!!!
I am now ready to hang little tags on each album so I know exactly what is in them. No more pulling out each one till I find what I am looking for. Then I'm finished and ready to go back to creating.

Last week I went with my friend Sandra to see Kite Runner. What a movie!!! It plays out in Afghanistan and is an amazing,difficult and emotional journey of two young boys who start off as friends. We are so lucky that our children and grandchildren and ourselves too, have been or are being raised in Australia. What a blessing our freedom and our culture is.

Anzac Day we abandoned the idea of our traditional football match and went up in to the mountains to Sherbrooke.
It was a gorgeous day, really balmy. I just love the filtered lighting and took plenty of photos. Most of them of Harrison so I will have plenty of opportunities to create some layouts for him.
We had some lovely walks and we all brought lunch. It was so relaxing. And it was the first time since I had my cancer treatments that I have been on a day-outing with my family.
It sure felt good.
I was so tired when we got home.....but it was a wonderful, comfortable and happy tired.

On Saturday 3 of my nieces and a friend of one all came to visit. Two live in Adelaide and two live in Sydney. They all decided to meet up in Melbourne, and made a special trip down to see Colin and Me. Seems like none of them have changed and they are all just special and sweet.

On Monday I had an appointment to see the surgeon who took out the remaining 'shell' of the abscess I had. A couple of needles, 5mts in the chair, a couple of stitches and it was all done.
Now I just have to go back for 2 appts to check it and then to have the stitches out and that saga should be finished.
Yesterday I looked after Sahn and Orson for the morning. How cute they both were and so very good for me. I just adore my grandchildren.Although I did need a nanna-nap once they went home. That's not unusual cuz I have one of those most days....at least a rest for a couple of hours.
So that's where I've been spending my time....and now I need to do some ironing and get the bread maker started. Just love that smell!!!

Very Proud

Very proud of myself...because I vacuumed the whole house this morning. And...I spot cleaned some spots on the carpet. Once you start that, you see spots everywhere. Hoping to get some new carpet at the end of the year.
I havn't had the energy to vacuum a room let alone the whole house. It feels great!!!!! Never thought I would say that!
So, there's still washing to hang up, and there's a bed to make and then I am going to do something that Ali Edwards has just done.
I am just like her in that I have over the 8 years I've been scrapbooking just put most of my layouts in an album as I complete it. Or, brought it home from Scraptacular after being finished with teaching classes, or used for displays.
So apart from a Heritage, Christmas, About Me and Birthday albums everything is a jumble.
So, I am going to take all the layouts out and arrange them. My grandchildren will finally have their own album of individual layouts I've done and the rest will be organised chronologically. I hope I've dated my journalling!!!!!!
Like Ali I have some that are not 12x12" but they are going to be added in anyway. Makes for a different look...a bit of variation.
I'm going to 'stretch' out our dining room table which we never use....and start the piles.
I have about 7albums that are brand new and then there are the ones I am taking layouts out of so I think I should be good for albums. Page protectors....I have some but probably will need to buy a heap more.

I had my flu shot last week, and then found out that my Oncologist wants me to have the pneumonia shot as well. So, I get tomorrow.
On May 19th I finally go to the Royal Melbourne Hospital for my drug allergy test.
And next monday I see Nick Houseman the surgeon to get the shell of abscess removed from my neck.

Tomorrow I am going to see a movie I have been wanting to see for months. The Kite Runner. I have read a book by the same author as the book this movie is based on. It's quite a raw story, but very interesting. My dear friend Sandra is going to take me! Sandra and I have been friends for more than 16yrs. She's a lot younger than me but we get on so well. It's like we knew eachother before we came here. We can never just chat for 5mts. We have done so much together. Worked with the Young Women from our Church, taken them on camps and slept on the floor of an old railway carriage talking all night long. Planned great activities for the girls together and just became such good friends. Then of all funny things my eldest son married her husbands younger sister. So, we are related now! Which is the best fun of all.

Off to make the bed!!!!

What More Could You Want

Fresh flowers brought home by a loving husband and yummy home made bread!!!!

I love the flowers!!! The colour is stunning and especially love the bright green centre. They are such 'happy flowers'.

Flowers from Colin go back a long way. There was a time, up untill about 2yrs ago, when he never remembered my birthday or did anything special for me personally like going out of his way to buy something. And one day I decided to address that and talk with him about it. Since then he has never failed to make sure there is a vase of fresh flowers in the house. And I think that's especially sweet. He caught on to the message and hasn't forgotten it. And that is amazing for a male!!!

The home made bread....well now I bought the bread maker about 7yrs ago. I used it quite a bit at first and then started working and the machine sat in the cupboard. Andrea borrowed it for a few months and then it came back to my house to sit in a different cupboard.

For some reason when I wasn't well enough to cook at all, I got it in to my head that home made bread was going to be one of the first things I make when I can.

I saw some recipe's of yummy sweet rolls and scrolls some weeks back and it reminded me of my intent to use the bread maker.

And....I have used it a few times now, but the pictures of the loaf of bread is my first home made food since being sick. The whole house smelt yummy. And the bread tastes fantastic!!!!!

In fact that's what I'm going to have for lunch today. One slice is all I need...it's very filling.

A Bit of Work

So I have been having fun doing some creating. A few pages from my Cancer Journal that I have been working on. I think I have done about 14 pages now, and havn't even gotten to where I started the chemotherapy.

I am loving the bird and butterflies stamps that I purchased a while back, and also the lovely tag punch from stampin up. I am trying to add the stamps in one way or another on every page and also trying to include some ribbon on everypage.

It's hard work though because I am doing a smaller size, 8.5x11" and sometimes there is so much writing it takes up the whole page.

I made the cards because Sara wants one for a one year old girl. So I played around with some new Basic Grey paper (the mini ones from their 8x8" pad) and thought they turned out pretty cute. A bit different than my usual style.

Shouldn't have, but.........!

I have been such a villain over the past week. I have had internet orders arriving quite regularly.....more scrapbooking 'stuff'. I swore that I would use what I have first....but the temptation is beyond my strength.
And....I have also visited Paper2 just to have some fun walking around a bricks and mortar store. I also visited Paper Heaven... and for the third time been offered a part time job there. Not interested though!.
So, what fun stuff have I enjoyed buying? Stamps......great ones for cards and for scrapbook pages, some of the new Basic Grey papers, cardstock, and the new Scenic Route papers, and K&Co stickers which I find great for my scrapbooking. And...just 'stuff' I like or have to have or need!!!!
I really need to put the reigns on this spending...considering that I am not earning anything anymore.
I have done about 11 pages of my Cancer Journey journal. I am having a lot of fun with the embellishment aspect. Using a great bird stamp and some butterfly stamps and some ribbon. The 7Gypsies 97%complete stickers are fantastic as well. Especially the Gratitude one.

It's so good to feel energetic, even if it is only for 1/2 the day.
Had a good report from my Oncologist last week. My blood tests show that everything is returning to normal.
Today I had my second visit to the naturopath and start a program of detoxing my body from all the 'crap' from the chemo.

Things are looking good.

Getting used to driving my manual Astra. I feel like I'm a bit of a racing driver pushing through the gears all the time. Just find it difficult listening to talk back radio at the same time, like I used to. Still have to concentrate!

I found the manual for my breadmaker and am keen to start having the smell of freshly baked bread through my house.
Something that I havn't done since starting work 5years ago. And...I'm actually looking forward to a bit more healthy cooking and eating. Now that my appetite is returning.

Colin and I go for a walk everynight. We are now increasing the distance....but the pace is pretty slow. That's my fault! However, it's good that we get out there for about 40mts each day.

Loving the cooler weather. And the little snippets of rain here and there.

This week I'm catching up with Anita for an early lunch, and Robyn and Rosemary for lunch on friday. Can't wait to see them all and have a chat.
And, I'm waiting for Karen to email me back with a time for a morning 'coffee' (I don't drink coffee, but hot chocolate sounds good!). Hint,hint!!!

Yesterday went to General Conference. There were so many people there who I have known for umpteen years. I felt very conspicuous, wearing my usual 'headgear', but those people who I did get to speak to just hugged me and expressed their love and concern.
I was glad to get out of there though. Maybe next time, in another 3months when it's Stake Conference I might have a bit of hair.

It's starting to grow a little bit. Feels like soft baby hair and it's white! I'm going to have to cope with that colour for quite some time and probably stay blonde/white from now on.

A new me!

I just love Pt.Leo. The beaches are so wide and clean. The tide is very strong though and not for the novice swimmers on this side.
You can see Phillip Island in the background. It's great looking at the rock pools, moving little rocks to see what living creatures are underneath. I took some photos, and you wouldn't know that the image was through water, it was just so crystal clear.

I am sitting at my 'puter' waiting for a very special friend of mine, Jean, to come and pick me up so we can go out for lunch. Of course one thing I always do when I am just waiting is start surfing on the computer. Usually scrapbook sites!!!!!

And I have also been reflecting on the past week and realise that I am doing really good.

During last week I had some struggles with myself. I wasn't feeling particularly content and happy but couldn't work out why or what wasn't right.

Over the past six months I have been so unwell and exhausted from all the medical tests and treatment that I was reasonably content to be a blob on a log!!!!

Now that most of that is behind me I have this mental 'thing' that life should be bouncing and that I should be bouncing along with it. Which isn't happening. Understandably so, considering it's only been 4 weeks since my last chemo and 3 weeks since my last actual treatment. And even though I am feeling better, I have no where near the energy I am expecting of myself.

Also......I now have a whole new future ahead. No work!!!! Which is great, but also brings it's own challenges.

I am so used to a schedule, routine. So all the housework or other things that needed doing I would just get in there and do because there was never time to muck around about deciding when to do them. Now I have had 6 months of everyone else doing the work, and the cooking and I am slowly taking back the reigns. But, I am not motivated at all and reluctantly do what I have to. I guess that's partly normal. Reluctance to do housework!!!!!!

Anyhow I understand now why last week I was having a frustrating week, and I figured that I now need to start to Balance my life better.

I need to identify the important things I want to invest time in and start to do that. Even if it's only a small amount of time at the moment. I can build up later.

Last weekend Colin and I had to go to the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I had to have a blood test there. The first stage of my drug allergy testing. Colin said he'd take me cuz he knows the back way to get there.

Well, we ended up going via Port Melbourne and Footscray!!!!! Men!!!!!!! Just for a 20mt visit into the hospital! And he had the nerve to get annoyed that I hadn't checked out where the parking is!!!

Saturday we went to the Movies. We have quite a few tickets that have been given to us as gifts, but because I wasn't well enough we didn't get to go. We went to see the Spiderwick Chronicles. A lovely, fun movie. And it was great to get out. And.....to eat popcorn!!!!! It tasted good!

Sunday I went to Church in the morning. In the afternoon Colin (who wants any excuse to drive my 'manual' car) decided to take a drive to Pt.leo.

I love Pt.Leo. My parents used to take us there all the time and we did likewise with out children. On the way home we would stop at an apple orchard and buy boxes of freshly picked apples. We would munch on them all the way home.

It was just so lovely strolling along the wide open beach there. The tide was going out, there was a bit of wind and on the Surf side there were quite a lot of big waves still.

How refreshing to walk in the crisp clean air and listen to the waves crashing on the rocks.

It seems like forever since I have been 'out' somewhere that isn't to do with hospitals and medical appointments.

And...I even took my camera so there are some photos as evidence!!!

Yesterday was back to medical appointments. Had to see Nick Houseman, the surgeon who is looking after me for the abscess I had on my neck. He still wants to take the shell of it out, to prevent any future problems. So, that's happening in two weeks. Just with a local aneasthetic though.

And today I had to have another blood test, and thursday a check-up with Gary Richardson my Oncologist.

These medical appointments don't stay away for too long!!!

I've been a bit 'naughty' buying some 'stuff' on the Internet. I've visited Blue Bazaar and The Scrap Heap. I've subscribed to Paper Trends Cards magazine for six months. And I've purchased two older issues and the latest issue of same magazine.

I've got the new Scenic Route paper coming.......and bought bits and pieces of the new Basic Grey ranges.

Even though I have a million $'s worth of paper and things here already.

It's so much fun expecting parcels!!!! Although a bricks and mortar shop is so much better. Hmm......must go and visit one of those too. But, which one???

I'm also feeling like doing a class here and there so will have to find out who is teaching what, when.

Time to get some dinner ready........!!! Although I don't feel like eating because my friend Jean and I have been to lunch now (yes this blog has been done in two sittings, obviously!).

The saddest news.

I've just been speaking to Andrea and she has past on the saddest news. My girls are all good friends with a beautiful young Mum, Tuliane. 15 months ago she was in the last stages of her second pregnancy when she developed very debilitating head aches.
She was eventually taken to hospital by ambulance, the baby was taken by caesarean and she was diagnosed with a very in-currable brain tumour.
She has had chemo and radiation during the past 15 months. Sometimes the news was encouraging, sometimes not.
Last week she started loosing feeling on one side of her body, so she had lots more tests done. And..she has a second brain tumour. Also one that cannot be operated on because of where it is. Very deeply inbedded in her brain, as is the original tumour.
Tuliane has now basically lost all movement, and speech. The doctors have said it is only a matter of days, maybe a few weeks before she will be gone.
What a tradgedy. A young Mum with a little son and a 3 year old daughter being left behind.
She is such a beautiful girl. Could have been a model. Not that this is important, but it is such a waste.
The other thing is, is that she has an identical twin sister which is very, very hard for everyone, including her sister.

All this makes me feel strange. Here am I at 58yrs old and I have gone in to remission. With my on going treatment I have a 90% chance of the cancer not returning.
And I ask why? I know there is a God, directing the affairs of mankind. That we will never know the answers to everything while we are here on earth.
But it sure tests my faith a little bit sometimes when there doesn't seem to be a way of making sense of things.

Just forgetting a few things!

I havn't even mentioned Easter. We had our traditional family BBQ at Braeside Park, which includes an easter egg hunt, of course. This year was also grandaughter McKenzie's birthday. She turned 3 and that is hard to believe in and of itself.
The grandkids all had a great time, because everyone brought their bikes as well.
Sahn had a blast playing in some muddy water, Tambi organised the children to run races and as per usual we had way too much food.
What was really special though was a wonderful gesture of kindness and sharing that Carolina organised. There was an asian family sitting quite near us, and were playing close to where we hid the easter eggs for the children. When the children came charging over there and gathering up eggs in to their bags the asian children were just standing there watching. Of course, being children they would have felt a bit sad looking at what our kids were doing.
Once all the eggs had been found, Carolina had them each give up some of theirs, put them in a bag and the children took them to the asian children. These children were so happy and amazed at their good fortune.
Our children learned a great principle.....to share. And everyone of them were happy. In fact the older Asian boys came and played with some of our kids and that's how children can teach us so much.
McKenzie got a lovely baby doll for her birthday. This doll was wearing a cute little hat. When McKenzie took the hat off she proudly said "This baby looks like Grandma, she hasn't got any hair, and she wears a hat like Grandma too!."

The other thing I forgot was that my dear husband took me to Paperific on friday. He walked around with me, watching me spend money, and just taking care of me.
I met up with quite a few people I've known for years in the Scrapbooking industry, but havn't seen forever.
I loved browsing around the new papers and the huge range of clear stamps that are available now.
I was particularly looking for stamps suitable for card making and was lucky enough to find a few good bargains.
Just loving the new Basic Grey ranges as well........yep, I did buy a bit here and there.
We were only there an hour...which was plenty for me.........but it was sooooooo much fun!!!!!

A Pleasant Week

This past week has been really lovely. Although I still feel really tired most of the time, and still need a good rest every afternoon, I am at last able to begin doing some things.
I even shared in cleaning my house!!! Not the hard stuff though, just the dusting and cleaning up the kitchen.
A few weeks ago I got a new car!!!! Yep!!! We decided that having a 4 wheel drive that was extremelly thirsty is just plain ridiculous and so we have another Astra. This one is the new model in a dark grey colour. The thing with it is though, it's manual!!!! I'm getting used to it but it sure means that I have to really concentrate all the time which is quite a challenge for me at the best of times. It's a gorgeous car to drive though. Even better than our other 'older' Astra.\

Tomorrow I am hosting a lunch for my 'girls' (just happens it's school holidays so all the grandkids will be there too!!) to say a 'big' thank you for the amazing help they have given to me over the past six months. Not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. And the two little words 'thank you' seem very inadequate to convey my feelings and thoughts about these four wonderful women.
So, I've bought them each a gift, and made a card for each of them too. Mind you it has taken me all week to make them. I have a new 'must do' and that is any card I make I make two. One to give away and one for my stash!! That way I always have something on hand when I don't have time to make something.
I need to do a male birthday card for this week, and then I am going to get on with my journal of my cancer story. I really want to get that finished.
Then, I plan to start some scrapbooking again.
I have added pictures of the cards because that's my way of remembering designs that I might want to copy in the future.

A Big Decision

Today I joined the ranks of the unemployed/retired. By choice! I have been so unsure since my cancer battle, of what I am going to do in the future.
My employers have been absolutely amazing. I have received free treatment whenever I have wanted/needed it. They have supported me throughout the past six months in a way that I never expected. They have kept a position available for me even though I havn't actually worked since mid November.
And that's what has made me decide that in fairness to them, I cannot expect them to continue to do all that if I am unsure of actually returning to work at all.
So, today I spoke with one of my bosses, Vickie, and decided that I resign as of today. However, if in twelve months down the track I feel that I really would like a job then I will call them.

This has been a real relief to me, having made this decision. I don't feel that I want to put myself through the 'stress' that's involved with working anymore. I don't think it's good for me physically and that is a huge concern.

The past four or five years have been hectic and busy for me. I have worked hard at doing what I love.....scrapbooking, and then in my new job for a short while. But, that has all taken it's toll on me and after the journey of the past six months I know that I can't put myself back in to that kind of environment. Not for a long while.

My biggest focus has to be getting myself in to the best health that I can. Therefore tomorrow I have an appointment with a naturopath. I have been saving my last pay so I can afford what he recommends!!! I know they are expensive.
My next focus is spending unhurried time with my family. Over the past five I have always had to fit in some time whilst I was busy, and now I want to turn that around and be free to hang out.
I also want to spend more time with friends. I have renewed some 'old' friendships and I of course have great friends whom I have stayed in touch with regularly.These ladies are very special . They have supported and helped and loved me through this difficult time.

I think that I will find myself quite busy and occupied.
I have some ideas of making a few $'s in the future....if and when I am ready. However, that is far ahead of me as yet.

So, the big decision has been made and executed and I feel relief!!! And, I am broke!!!! No more little/medium/big purchases on the internet. Well...that is except my regular monthly dose of Scrapbook Trends. Just love that mag. And then there's the monthly Card book!!!! Uhmm.....will have to find some discipline.

I Made It!

I am now officially in REMISSION! I have now officially finished my treatment!!!
It was a really funny feeling turning up at Cabrini Brighton, knowing this would be my last treatment. The staff there have been and still are such amazing women. They are so friendly and such fun to be around and they said I was like a 'breath of fresh air' everytime I came for my treatments. I think that's mainly because I joked around and stirred them a little bit.
I was sitting there waiting and a young girl arrived with a huge arrangement of flowers. It turned out they were for me from all my friends at Church! Then it really hit me that this was my last one. I have MADE IT!
The last few weeks have been mentally difficult....but I got there!!!!!!
Every eight weeks for two years I have to back for a maintenance treatment of a drug called Mabthera. This drug is very new and very sucesfull in the treatment of Lymphoma and it will continue to protect me against any rogue cells.
For five years I will be tested etc., and if everything goes well.......I will then be considered cured.

I feel that I have run the hardest race of my life. I wasn't mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for it when I was pushed to the starting line. I thought at that time that I had already dealt with so much over the previous months that it was time for me to be dealt a good card.
That wasn't to be.
And.....I couldn't shun away from the starting line and say I wasn't going to do this. I have had to dig very deep inside myself and focus on what was ahead in this race and determine how I was going to run it. With fear or with faith.
I choose faith!!!!
Thankfully that was the best strategy I could ever have chosen because it sustained me throughout a cardiac arrest, a serious infection and the general all consumming affects of weekly chemotherapy.
And although it took me longer to run the race than planned, I was able to keep going and now I've done it !!!
Now, I can work on regaining my health and my stamina and at the same time continue to focus on the 'really important' things in my life and bring it all back into balance.
I know this is going to take a long time. But......'baby steps' are a good principle to use and I know that each day will bring something a little better.
I have been dealt a good card. I am in remission!
And.....I am sooooo thankful.

A Little bit of creating..

Last week, I was commisioned (not really, just requested), to make some baby cards for patients at my work. (Yes, I still have a job to go back to)

So, I was feeling fairly OK, and it took me all day to make these cards but, I just loved the whole process so much.

To be creating, and playing and working things out. Mind you, my hands shake and my brain is not functioning all that well, but gee I had fun!!!

Just wanted to post my cards!!!

One more to go!

Finally......I have had my last 'big chemo'. Not without a little bit of drama. The special picc line that was put into my arm through which I had all my treatments sprung a leak last week after the treatment. Well that's when it was noticed. This is a line that was in a major artery and meant that there wasn't a desperate search for good veins to administer the drugs every week.
Only two treatments to go. Can it be done without having to go to Malvern Cabrini and having another picc line inserted? After the Oncology nurses consulted my doctor they decided I needed to come in to Brighton and soak in hot water for a about 20mts. Well, not the whole of me, just my arms. And....the decision was they were sort of comfortable that I had one good vein to take the last big chemo.
Fortunately it all went well.......and I had the big one last week. Stayed overnight, hopefully for the last time.
Now, feeling yuckie and exhausted I am mentally impatient. One more of the lesser treatments and then I will finally be finished.
How amazing is that? Next week.......in 5 days.....I will have my final treatment.
Well, sort of. Because I have to go back and have that particular treatment once every eight weeks for two years. But.....this one is not severe and won't make me feel as sick as I do now.
Once my body starts to recover and I get stronger, this treatment will not have any where near as much impact as it does at the moment.
My hair will start to grow back....one day. Wonder what it will look like? I know it's going to be white.......I can see that in what is poking out at the moment. So, I'm going to stay that colour and eventually have some foils or something put in. But...because I won't be allowed to use any chemicals on it for a while I am just going to have to happy to have hair....no matter what colour!!!!
So, right now, all I can think of is the future. And my head buzzes with things.........Things that I value so much now, things that I want to do, things that I want to see...lots and lots of things.
How blessed I am that I can look forward with hope and happiness.
I have met a lot of special people in the Oncology Ward. I have shared rooms with the bravest and most positive people. I have been touched by their stories and have been comforted by their strengths.

"Thank You"

A big 'thank you' to my friends who have left such great comments on my blog, after reading my 'happy news'!!!
It is the best times and a bit of the worst time because of still having chemo and feeling revoltingly yuck, and not enjoying anything I eat. But.....to see my family so relieved and to be able to talk to my 5yr old grandaughter India, and explain that my hair will grow back in a little while makes it all so positive and great.
Although......after all this I have been so proud that I have kept my eyebrows and now all of a sudden they have started coming out....and by the end of the week will probably be gone!! What's the deal with that??? I will be left with these two pale streaks of skin above my eyes!!
And they were still quite dark and I bet they grow back white or grey.
I look out the window and plan what I am going to do when I get to feeling better......there is no hesitation now and that is such a blessing.
I am looking forward to feeling like scrapbooking, shopping (without exhaustion after 5mts), taking photos again, visiting friends, helping others, going to Church and even a little bit (note the little bit!) of babysitting. Going for walks with Colin, and to the movies.
In fact we have some gold class and some ordinary tickets to use up. Hope there's some good movies coming out in a couple of months time.