PETs

I had the famous PET scan today. I thought I needed to take my kittens with me considering it had to do with pets!!!
Seriously, it all went fine. A much better deal than the bone marrow biopsy. Just the usual trouble with finding veins to pop needles and other stuff in to me.
So today I am a bit nuclear - because they had to inject me with some stuff that's radio-active.
Better not light a match!!
It's getting a long long drawn out thing. The tests and the waiting.
On monday I see Prof.Richardson and will then get a good picture of the treatment plan. I havn't been thinking about it all too much because I am not going to get worried about side-affects etc., untill I know exactly what I am facing.
I have worked two shifts this week, and will work again tomorrow. That has helped me so much.
Colin has been home since Thursday, when he had an operation on his eyelid. He has been a good patient, although his eye isn't comfortable. He goes back to his specialist on Monday too.
What a pair we are at the moment.
He has been so good. Vacuming, ironing, dusting even. He gets a bit 'stir crazy' being home all the time, so he asked me for a list of jobs to do. I wasn't going to argue with that!!
I still get tired easily. This is probably a combination of having non-Hodgkins lymphoma as well as the stress my body went through with the anaphalaxis. It's only been 3 weeks after all.
Actually, nearly four weeks now.
I have been having fun making some Christmas presents. They are actually something Jodie made at Scraptacular last year with the Collections tile kits. I'm making one for each of my children and their families.
I also made a clock for Tambi for her birthday. So I'm going to show that off with a photo of it on my blog when I can find it on my puter. Just had a look everywhere and I can't remember where I put it, or what I called the folder.
Ahh....senior moments!!!!
Going to do some work now!

A mixed bag..

I am really amazed at the lovely encouraging comments left on my blog by some very special ladies.
Dawn I so appreciate what you have written.
I to have been printing from my blog because that's the only place I have recorded what's been going on.
I to have become exhausted calling all my children and my sisters and friends each time I have an appointment or a test.
We have decided to have one nominated person that I call and they call the others. And so on. Because it really it far too much for me to cope with going over and over the same scenario.
I really appreciate the quotes you left for me. I am only at the early stages of this whole cancer journey but have already learnt so much that I know I wouldn't have if I wasn't here.
Yesterday was my bone marrow biopsy. Yikes that hurt...and still does.
I have been so blessed with gorgeous children. Sara who took me to the hospital for the test and stayed with me, drove me home, looked after me.
Andrea who has spent the morning with me today, doing the washing and some shopping. The love we all feel within our family just seems to be more acute since they had to deal with almost loosing me, and I have to deal with the cancer.
There's just so much to be grateful for, scared of and unsure of.

No More....

Claire, thank you!
Yesterday was a very difficult day for me.
A visit to an Oncologist! I never thought I would go through all the gammut of emotions that I did. It was probably the most stressful thing I have ever had to do.
However, in my mind I was confident that my test results all show that the cancer is isolated to one area.
That is what everyone thought, that is! The Oncologist is not sure. So I have to go for a PET Scan and A Bone Marrow Biopsy.
It just seems to keep on getting harder and harder.
And I've decided that although I do want to record where this is all taking me and my feelings etc., I don't want to do this on-line. It's not going to be something i want anyone other than my family to read anyway - and that will probably be in a long time from now.
I have decided that keeping an on-line diary isn't what I want to do at the moment. At least not about the challenges I am facing.
I have a beautiful new journal and I am going to use that.
From time to time I will buzz by my on-line blog for 'general life's journey' things.
Thanks girls for your encouragement!!!

Counting my Blessings - Positively!

Ange, Alison and Jane.......thank you so much for the lovely messages. Great to read, and great to get a positive message.
Tomorrow is the big day to get the low down on whatever treatment I'm going to need.
In the meantime I have been trying to keep busy.
Although I don't have much energy I am planning......and when I do that the internet is a bit of a temptation for me.
Firstly I bought a Cricut cartridge on E-bay. The Christmas Cheer one, of course! And I only paid $111.00 for it an absolute bargain! Can't wait to get it!
Then I contacted a sweet lady who I know sells Stampin Up and she's dropping by a catalogue so I can choose a Christmas Set.
Yep.....going to start making Christmas cards! And some great off the page stuff I saw around as well.
Hoping that energy returns a bit though!!!!!!!!
Then I've got lots of other bits and pieces to make for presents.
Nope, I am not going to get bored and I'm not going to get depressed or feeling sorry for myself.
I'm alive.......I don't have any long-term after affects from the anaphalactyc thing.
The anaesthetist called me at home yesterday. Apparently they did some blood tests and for allergies the upper level of normal figure is 13 - mine was 63! So........my acute reaction was a real big whammie. He is also amazed I didn't have a stroke, or renal failure. How blessed I am.
He's actually presenting my case tonight for his colleagues. Should be interesting - not!
Well, I've also been looking around at the gorgeous new Urban Lilly Journal. I thought this would be a great little thing to own so I can journal about all this experience and what's ahead.
Not as a scrapbooking album but just a personal one, with some little scrapbook touches to it.
Uhmmmm.....I know my job is waiting for me, but I'm spending like I've worked an 80hr week!!!
Better hit the brakes!!!
Time to turn the computer OFF

Unshakable Faith

Girls, thanks for your supportive comments. I am not sure who anonymous #2 is, and Linda you are sweet.
I have an unshakable faith in a loving Father in Heaven and his purpose and plan for me is his alone to decide and guide me towards.
He is a forgiving and loving God and he knows the follies of us in our mortality. Everyone of us!!!!
I know this without any doubt at all.
I am not going to qualify comments left on my blog by referring to them.
Today I have been inundated with phone calls from good friends, visits from my children and grandchildren and happy and supportive emails.
How truelly blessed I am!

Almost There....

About a month and a half ago I wrote on my blog here that I had a lump in my neck. I wrote about the subsequent tests etc and that everything turned out fine.
Well, from that i was sent to a surgeon for cosmetic purposes.
And everything began to unravel from there.
Firstly this surgeon straight away told me he was pretty sure I have Hodgkins Lymphoma and the lump needed to be operated on immediately - in four days time to be exact.
This was a huge shock for me. Having been told that I was clear of any 'cancer' link. I was shaking and in tears.
On friday november 2nd I reported for duty at Cabrini Hospital, Brighton to have my surgery in the afternoon.
I get pretty scared of aneasthetics so I was given a pre-med and 10mts later wheeled in to the operating room.
I remember the usual things of being transfered to the operating table. The anaesthetist looking for suitable veins to administer drugs. A mask on my face and off to sleep......................zzzzzzzz!
When I began to recognise sounds around me, I was a bit bewildered. I began to sense that something was different.
Firstly, I had a breathing tube down my throat which I kept gagging on. My hands were tied to the railings of the bed (apparently I tried to pull out the tube!) and conversations that I picked up bits and pieces from didn't make sense.
So what had happened????
Within a minute of going to sleep I had an anaphalactyx allergic reaction to one of three drugs that I was given. (Don't know which yet)
I had no pulse, I stopped breathing. So, I was intubated and massive amounts of adrenaline given to me.
It took an hour to stabilise me enough to transport me via the MICA Ambulance, with the aneasthetist accompanying me to Cabrini Malvern and in to Intensive Care there.
And that's where I began to wake up.
My operation hadn't been done because I had basically died on them.
I will forever be grateful to two amazing men and their staff. Dr. Peter Gregory and Dr. Rod Taylor. Rod Taylor was the aneasthetist who saved my life. Who stayed with me to Intensive Care and was there again first thing in the morning. As was Peter Gregory.
My poor family!!!! they had all sat with me during the night untill they were told I was going to make it and then returned at the crack of dawn. Rod Taylor took them all aside and explained everything that had happened and gave them the opportunities to ask questions.
Meanwhile the staff in Intensive Care had been kept very busy keeping me alive during the night.
Once I came to and things were slowly coming together for me it was the most surreal experience. If I had died I would not have even known I was in such a critical condition. I didn't know any of this had happened.
The next big task was to organise a new surgeon and anaeasthetist to do the surgery, which couldn't be delayed.
Peter Gregory called on his workmate and he in turn called in a specialist aneasthetist and between them all assurred me that they would keep me safe.
So, surgery was scheduled on Monday. It did go OK, and they did keep me safe. I am so grateful to these wonderful people who have had the biggest affect on my life.
Although he didn't do the actual surgery, Peter Gregory has stayed in touch with Colin and with myself almost daily.
This kind of experience really shakes the doctors involved and although if they had to they would operate on me again, but prefer not to. Understandably.
I was so protected, watched over and felt so loved by my family, friends and everyone involved.
I had personal experiences that will stay with me forever.
The pathology result is not what I wanted to hear. I do have cancer in the lymphatic system. It doesn't appear to be anywhere else but in my neck and will require treatment.
Next week I see an oncologist.
I never pictured myself dealing with Cancer. I have never pictured myself looking at the ravages of the treatment on my body. I have never wondered how I might cope if given this kind of news.
Here I am looking straight at it. I am still very affected emotionally and mentally by the past 10 days. However, I feel a strength within myself that I can do this.
Of course I havn't started anything yet and won't know how I'm going to feel.........soon that will be a reality and I may see things very different.
I was almost there...........I was almost gone from this earthly life. But...my life was saved for a reason, for a purpose. I know that without a doubt. What that is will come my way when it's time.
My family both close and extended, both here inVictoria, around Australia, in the US and Europe have all sent their love and prayers to me and I have felt that so strongly.
I am so grateful for my faith, for my knowledge in Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I was given a comfort that only He can!
Now I see so much of what I didn't see before. The things that matter, and the things that don't. The things to invest emotion, time and energy to, and the things to let go.
It has been traumatic, but yet a blessing at the same time.
That's it for now.