Asking the question

I've been home from hospital a week now, and it has been a comfortable week. Got good report from the surgeon....he will finish off what else needs to be done to the abscess on my neck when I have finished chemo.

Have had some really lovely good wishes from friends and family. Flowers, cards, ice poles and little 'positive quotes' books. I am so blessed by all the friends I have. I never feel alone!!! As for my family......I can't say often enough how amazing they are. Especially the women.....I still call them girls but they are women. They help me constantly and I know that in time I will be able to 'pay it forward' and help others.

One of my friends own a business called 'cupcake corner' - she has an online store if you want to check it out. http://www.cupcake/ corner.com.au She makes the most gorgeous cupcakes. So when I was in hospital she left a box of 5 of these cakes at reception for me. With a very young family of 4 and another on the way it was a big effort for her to drive to Cabrini and drop in these cupcakes.

I have had a bit of fun this week.....feeling a bit more chirpy than I have over the past months. I bought myself a portable DVD player. It has a 10" screen which is great. Now when I feel lousy, and it's hard to do anything I can watch a DVD wherever I am. I am currently watching the first series of Prison Break. I never got in to that when it was first aired. Now I am loving it.

My girls have downloaded lots of episodes of the current Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters and Desperate Housewives. Whatever has been aired in the US up to the screen writers strike, they have downloaded.

So, I have a lot of viewing to do. And will again have plenty of time to do it as I start chemo again this coming week.

I finally had the courage to ask my oncologist the big question. "If I had not started chemo, what would have been the outcome for me?"

I was stunned by his answer. He told me I would die within three to six months. the tumour in my neck is/was so aggressive.!!! But treatable!!!

This took quote a bit of processing. I'm glad I didn't know that from the beginning because I don't think I would have handled that knowledge very well then .....but that now more than half way through chemo I know I've made the right choice. And......I believe that I am actually looking more positively at the next five weeks. Bring it on!!!!

I actually had some fun in my scrapbook room.....I made 14 small 'thank you' cards. It took a while to get them all done.....all the same design just different colours. I even made small envelopes so I can post some.

Colin came in and said it was so nice to see me in there again.