It was the best of times it was the worst of times.

This past couple of months have been so difficult for me.

I think it started when we had to put our dog of 15yrs down. She wasn't in the best health anymore but because she was such a beautiful and faithful friend we kept putting of this horrible decision.

Needless to say, once the decision was made the emotions were more than I expected.

Then Colins' dad (who has been more of a dad to me, than my own dad), had a bad fall in the nursing home and was taken to hospital.

Whilst there he developed pneumonia and other conditions that he didn't have before this fall. It must have been his body just not coping with the stress and trauma of the fall he had.

We visited him every day/night. Most nights not eating dinner untill well after 9pm. As well as keeping up both of our work commitments.

After 3 weeks in the hospital they told us there wasn't anything more they could do for him, so he was sent back to the nursing home for palliative care.

Three days back there, and we got a middle of the night call to say he had passed away. How sad! We hoped in the car and went to see him in his room, for the last time.

So began the horrible things you have to deal with. Funeral arrangements, cleaning out his belongings from the nursing home. We then heard that because of his fall there would be a coroners report required to determine cause of death. Which meant having to go into the coroners office to identify him. Then we heard that an autopsy would be required. This poor man was 91yrs of age and we felt very sad that his body was being violated that way. But realised it was necessary.

We had his funeral, without him being there. His body was not yet released. However, we knew he was with us in spirit. Especially his humor.

The next day we went back to the cemetery, just Colin and I and said are last goodbye.

He has been a very funny, special and devoted gramps to all of our family. And we are surely gonna miss him.

Then, Colin who is struggling big time with a very bad case of psoriasis wasn't coping too well going back to work. So, he now has this week off. Resting and relaxing, and getting some new treatment for his condition. Hopefully it will work. It is a very debillitating thing to have. Especially when it's practically over all of your body.

As for me.....well.......I didn't handle things too well for a while there. Meaning that I quit my job over an issue that just seemed to consume me and became very emotional for me. Even knowing that the business was being sold in only a few weeks.

Niavely I felt confident that the new owner would have me as part of her team, but that wasn't to be.

Everything was just horrible, and overwhelming and I spat the dummy. If I could go back and undo some things, but I can't.

So, now it's time to move on. I have some new plans/ideas for my future. I am just taking my time getting my head around things.

I havn't been able to scrapbook since all this has happened. I am pretty lost at the moment but maybe that's because Colin is home and we have been going for lots of walks, and just getting some rest here and there.

We do get some laughs around here too. Our two kittens, Balou and Bizkit are so funny and so sweet.

I am in the process of applying for my passport. Anytime, if my aunt in Holland passes away then my sisters and I have five days to get there for her funeral. Which is something she really wants us to do. I hadn't given it a lot of thought, thinking this was just some illusive idea. But considering she is 89yrs old one of my sisters prompted me to at least get a passport ready, because I wouldn't be able to get one in just 5days.

That's it for me. Gonna work on my 'plans'.

ps: just an aside - if anyone reads this, and was the recipient of any emails I sent when I spat the dummy I apologise. I was hurting big time although that's probably not an excuse.